This page explores the biblical and theological foundations for marriage and sex, as well as pastoral counsel.

These are the images used in artistic physical displays. They are survey questions and conversation starters that are topically and thematically organized. They demonstrate how Jesus is relevant to each topic or theme. You can also just view the images on your device. If you would like, see all our Conversation Stations; below are the ones that relate to the topic of Sex.

Is a Good Friend Hard to Find? (instructions and conversation tree)

Find Your Heart's Desire? (and instructions and theology of desire)

Your Body: Does it Have a Purpose? (and instructions) 

Rate Your Last Relationship

Desires, Beliefs, and How We Know Truth

This is a presentation on how desires are a consideration, but not the first, in how we know truth. Our desires suggest that we have both good and evil in us. This does not prove, but agrees with, the biblical story. After all, we are made in the image of God and wounded by sin. Some desires can be taken up and expanded by Jesus; other desires, Jesus reshapes or transforms. Also, belief systems have an implied story and metaphysics, which results in an ethics, and contains an epistemology, which is a way by which we can examine whether it is true. A 15 minute read.

How Our Choices Shape Our Desires: Experiencing the Triune God

Text of a message on various biblical passages on how our choices shape our desires 

Sex, Love, Dating, and Marriage 

Link to the page on our website containing messages on The Song of Songs: A Play in Five Acts.

God is the Primary Owner of Your Body: The Purpose and Destiny of Our Bodies

Text of a message on 1 Corinthians 6:19 - 20; see also resources on 1 Corinthians.

Is Premarital Sex Really Sinful?

An exploration of cultural assumptions and biblical passages

Does the Christian Story of Sexuality Make Any Sense at All? Sexuality and Social Justice

A message exploring how the Western, individualistic framework of modernism and postmodernism does not give us a relational framework for ethics; that means "sexual freedom" also logically leads to exploitative "economic freedom."

Does Jesus Satisfy Our Thirst? 

A message on John 4:1 - 29. This is the story of Jesus meeting the Samaritan woman by a well. Explore how our search for real love and personal moral empowerment point us to Jesus. A 10 - 15 minute read.

The Resurrection of Jesus - Its Historicity and Meaning

Link to a page on our website exploring Jesus’ resurrection. This historical event serves as the foundation of a theological understanding of our bodies, souls, and personhood.

Margaret Mowczko, Egalitarian Books and Resources on Christian Marriage (Marg Mowczko blog)

Malka Z. Simkovich, Intimacy on Shabbat: Was It Always a Mitzvah? (The Torah)

Matt Fradd, C.S. Lewis on Lust, Women, and Masturbation (blog)

Spiritual Friendship: Musings on God, Sexuality, Relationships (website)

Henry Cloud and John Townsend, Boundaries in Dating (pdf book)

Saint George Orthodox Church, Divorce in Church History (Saint George Orthodox Church, 2004) and this on Pastoral Guidelines on Divorce

J. Budziszewski, Designed for Sex: What We Lose When We Forget What Sex Is For (Touchstone, Jul/Aug 2005)

Lauren Winner, Real Sex:  The Naked Truth About Chastity (2006)

Stuart Koehl, An Independent Witness to Marriage (First Things, Jul 16, 2010)

Margaret Kim Peterson & Dwight N. Peterson, Are You Waiting for "The One"? (2011)

Caroline J. Simon, Bringing Sex into Focus: The Quest for Sexual Integrity (2011)

Rowan Williams, The Body’s Grace (ABC, Aug 24, 2011)

Marlena Graves, Getting to the Root of Female Masturbation (Christianity Today, Jan 2012)

Rosalie De Rosset, Unseduced and Unshaken: The Place of Dignity in a Young Woman's Choices (Amazon book, Aug 2, 2012)

Anthony Esolen, All the Lonely People: The Corrosive & Far-Reaching Fallout of the Sexual Revolution (Touchstone, Jul/Aug 2013)

Rosaria Champagne Butterfield, My Train Wreck Conversion (Christianity Today, Feb 7, 2013)

Michael Brown, What the Sex Change Industry Doesn't Tell You (Charisma News, Oct 4, 2013)

Barry Cooper, More Choices, Less Commitment (The Gospel Coalition, Feb 25, 2013)

Rod Dreher, Sex After Christianity (The American Conservative, Apr 11, 2013)

Simon Critchley and Jamieson Webster, The Gospel According to 'Me' (NY Times opinion, Jun 29, 2013)

Ryan Thomas Neace, Consecrated Sexual Attraction (blog, Aug 2, 2013) post by a Christian counselor on exploring the desire behind the desire

Vicky Beeching, Christian, Feminist, and Conservative on Sexuality (blog, Sep 4, 2013)

David Murrow, The One Idol Christian Women Worship (Patheos blog, Sep 25, 2013)

Ann Voskamp, The Real Truth About 'Boring' Men and the Women Who Live With Them (Huffington Post, Nov 18, 2013)

Debra K. Fileta, Why You Should Have More Than One Significant Other (Relevant magazine, Jan 7, 2014)

Father Dylan James, Divorce, Remarriage, Oikonomia, and the Peril of Following the Greeks (blog, Feb 17, 2014)

John Burke, When Two Lesbians Walk Into a Church Seeking Trouble (Charisma News, Mar 13, 2014)

Leonid Bershidsky, Want a Lasting Relationship? Give Up Sex (Bloomberg, Mar 13, 2014)

Ryan Dowd, Rethinking Proverbs 31:10 - 31 (Qideas)

Shaunti Feldhahn, Everything We Think We Know About Marriage and Divorce is Wrong (Catalyst, 2014)

Rachel Held Evans, 3 Things You Might Not Know About Proverbs 31 (blog, May 2014)

Dale Fincher, Unpacking the Web of the Sovereign Grace Scandal (Soulation blog, May 27, 2014)

Thomas L. McDonald, ‘Desire of the Everlasting Hills’: A Powerful Witness to Catholic Teachings on Same-Sex Attraction (Patheos, Jul 23, 2014)

Carl R. Trueman, The Purpose of Pornography (First Things, Aug 5, 2014)

Conor Friedersdorf, When 'Do Unto Others' Meets Hookup Culture: How Christians Can Talk to America About Sex (The Atlantic, Sep 10, 2014)

Boz Tchividjian, #Why I Stayed: How Some Churches Support Spousal Abuse (Religion News Service, Sep 12, 2014)

Corey Widmer, Traditional Sexuality, Radical Community (The Gospel Coalition, Oct 3, 2014)

Fabienne Harford, Sex and the Single Woman (The Gospel Coalition, Oct 16, 2014)

Nancy French, Living Without Sex: How Christian Singleness Doesn't Mean Ignoring the Hunger for Sex (Patheos blog, Oct 17, 2014)

Father John Behr, Death and Becoming Human, Part 3: Male and Female (Saint Nicholas, Salem, MA, Oct 20, 2014) an Orthodox analysis of Genesis 1 - 2, Matthew 19:3 - 12, and 1 Corinthians 7

Dave Willis, 7 Ways a Husband Needs Respect from His Wife (Patheos blog, Dec 12, 2014)

Joy-Elizabeth Lawrence, Stop Overlooking Singles in Church (Today's Christian Woman, Feb 8, 2015)

Elizabeth Corey and Mary Campbell, Two Sisters, Two Views of Marriage (The Atlantic, May 10, 2015)

Matthew Paul Turner, Megachurch: Stay With Your Kiddie Porn-Watching Husband - Or Face "Discipline" (The Daily Beast, May 31, 2015) a sad example of conservative Christians

Rod Dreher, The Real Reason for the Caitlyn Jenner Freak-Out (The American Conservative, Jun 3, 2015)

David Daniels, Former Lesbian Jackie Hill-Perry Responds to Bruce Jenner's Sex Change (Rapzilla, Jun 4, 2015)

Douglas Wilson, An Open Letter to an Angry Husband (blog, Jun 6, 2015)

Mark Yarhouse, Understanding the Transgender Phenomenon (Christianity Today, Jun 8, 2015) and his book, Understanding Gender Dysphoria: Navigating Transgender Issues in a Changing Culture (IVPress, Jun 2015)

Russell Moore, The Sexual Revolution's Coming Refugee Crisis (Moore to the Point blog, Jul 7, 2015)

US Conference of Catholic Bishops, Create in Me a Clean Heart: A Pastoral Response to Pornography (USCCB, Nov 2015)

Nate Sparks, Injustice: an Open Letter to The Gospel Coalition (Nate Sparks blog, Jan 31, 2016) a list of troubling observations that TGC should answer for, which flow out of their version of complementarian gender theology

Samantha Schroeder, Personal Love and the Call to Chastity (Witherspoon Institute, Mar 24, 2016)

Ann Voskamp, About Those “20 Minutes of Action”: 20 Things We’d Better Tell Our Sons Right Now About Being Real Men (A Holy Experience blog, Jun 8, 2016)

Stan Friedman, Letter from Brock Turner’s Victim Should Be Read in Churches (Cov, Jun 17, 2016)

Sarah Eekhoff Zylstra, Christian Teacher Fired for Not Divorcing Husband Wins in British Court (Christianity Today, Jul 5, 2016)

Amber Barnhill, I Let My Husband Rape Me, and Here’s Why… (Patheos, Aug 19, 2016) has poignant lessons about defective evangelical teaching about abuse

Marie Notcheva, The Culture of Abuse in Christian Slavic Marriages (Biblical Counseling Coalition, Sep 30, 2016)

Sarah Eekhoff Zylstra, How Churches in America’s Least Religious Region Talk About Sexuality (The Gospel Coalition, Nov 3, 2016)

Jeff Crippen, Church Leaders Charge Victims with Sin for Leaving the Abuser (Cry for Justice, Dec 19, 2016)

Brad Wilcox, Evangelicals and Domestic Violence: Are Christian Men More Abusive? (Christianity Today, Dec 11, 2017) they are if they are nominal, study says

Jonathan Merritt, The Scandal Tearing Apart America's Largest Protestant Denomination (The Atlantic, May 3, 2018) re: Southern Baptists

Rich Villodas, The Good News About Our Longings: Sexuality and Spirituality (Missio Alliance, Jul 18, 2018)

John Sanidopoulos, Complete List of Prohibited Marriages in the Orthodox Church. The Catalog of Good Deeds, Apr 13, 2018.

Eric W. Dolan, Particular Christian Beliefs Linked to Rationalizations of Domestic Violence Against Women (PsyPost, Dec 20, 2018)

David Noonan, Western Individualism Arose from Incest Taboo (Scientific American, Nov 7, 2019) “Researchers link a Catholic Church ban on cousins marrying in the Middle Ages to the emergence of a way of life that made the West an outlier.” Helpful social science perspective, even though credit for the “incest taboo” is misplaced. Credit must be given to early Christianity and Judaism. Judith Shulevitz, A New Theory of Western Civilization. The Atlantic, Oct 2020. “Could a marriage policy first pursued by the Catholic Church a millennium and a half ago explain what made the industrialized world so powerful—and so peculiar?”

Stephen Freeman, Is Everyone Transsexual? (Ancient Faith, Nov 11, 2019) considers the body compared to our desires.

Doug Mainwaring, Flashback: 1930s Anthropologist Finds Sexual Hedonism Destroys Civilizations (LifeSiteNews, Aug 25, 2020) “J.D. Unwin observed that when strict prenuptial chastity was forsaken by a society, a type of 'human entropy' — a gradual descent into disorder — set in.” One reviewer of Joseph Daniel Unwin, Sex and Culture (Amazon book, 1934), however, said: “But Unwin was a Freudian liberal, so he felt compelled to come up with as unsexist an explanation as possible, and this is where his idea comes from that prenuptial chastity causes sexual repression which in turn causes energy to be redirected into developing culture. Of course this is complete nonsense, but I forgive Unwin both because living in the 1930s, he couldn't have a deep understanding what conditions are really like when a society reaches an advanced state of feminist decay, and because I am extremely grateful to Unwin for honestly recording facts that were at odds with his own beliefs. But even Unwin should have realized from historical evidence that his explanation was wrong. Ancient Athens was probably the most productive civilization in history, and never did a society have less sexual repression for men than Athens did, where the government subsidized prostitution so that men were never in need for sex, and where women could not interfere with the productive energy of men.” Unwin’s study was summarized by Christian author Kirk Dunston, Why Sexual Morality May be Far More Important than You Ever Thought (Kink Dunston blog, Dec 1, 2019)

Inspiring Philosophy, Genesis 6a: The Nephilim. Inspiring Philosophy, Dec 6, 2019. Argues that “the sons of God” were rulers who became tyrant-kings who became polygamous and took many wives. “The Nephilim” are also “mighty men” and not offspring of angels mating with human women. There is considerable literary and historical context to argue that the problem was polygamy, as men wanted to make a name for themselves, and Noah was unusual because he was monogamous, as were his sons.

Culture Reframed (website) “We help parents and other adults build kids’ resilience to hypersexualized media and porn” This is not a Christian organization per se, but Dr. Gail Dines, a prominent anti-pornography and anti-trafficking scholar, has put out very helpful resources here.

Bryana Joy on Twitter, The Grim Link Between Pornography & Christian Marriage Resources (Twitter, Nov 5, 2021) Christian patriarchy and porn both express that women exist for men.

Tom Holland, Why I Changed My Mind About Christianity. Edictum Conference, Mar 14, 2023. A one hour lecture — a personal and professional story of a classical historian who realized that studying the Greek and Roman civilizations was morally disturbing because of the Christian sensibilities and morality that confronted those civilizations. Holland is asked, “Writing the book Dominion, what are the three or four biggest ideas that were revolutionary due to Christianity?” The fourth and last idea is sex and gender. If the ideal form of a man and woman living together in marriage is modeled after Christ and the church, then this gives rise to romantic love because the two people need to choose each other.

Beth Feller Jones and Amy Peeler, Misusing the Marriage Metaphor from Episode 558: Saddleback vs the SBC & Misusing the Marriage Metaphor with Beth Felker Jones & Amy Peeler. Holy Post Podcast, Mar 29, 2023. Kaitlyn talks with Dr. Beth Felker Jones and Dr. Amy Peeler about Joshua Butler’s controversial article comparing the gospel to marital sex. Jones and Peeler distinguishes between how Ephesians 5 interprets marriage and how 1 Corinthians 7 interprets marital sex. They also correct the “men contribute seed” interpretation of biology with better scientific facts.

Amanda McCracken, How Longing [for Love] Keeps Us from Healthy Relationships. TEDx Talks, Sep 29, 2023. McCracken shares her personal journey of realizing that she had become addicted to the longing for love, which was rooted in a sense of personal shame and also neuro-chemical realities about how we can become addicted to unrealistic fantasies, rather than believing she was worthy of love and understanding what healthy love is. This insight is going to be increasingly important to Christian spiritual formation.

Steven Bartlett, The Sex Expert: "Casual Sex Is Almost Always Dangerous For Women!" - Louise Perry. Diary of a CEO, Jun 20, 2024. Not a Christian perspective per se, but fairly validating of Christian norms around sex and marriage. Perry draws from scientific and anthropological studies.